dun wanna feel sad....dun read this!!!

so sorry eveyone...hafta spoil the happy mood...i always read blog ar...i feel v happy...u all r real entertaining n nvr fail to brighten my days...n of coz, tt makes me feel better......
of coz, my qing fu is a v poor thing....thou erm, i kindof laugh after the stuff tt i haf read,......
ok....juz to be frank with u all, i m stil v upset over my family...........the pecah-ing of my family...... erm....basically, i cried again juz nw, tts why cant slp.....wake up n write blog...but of coz, after reading my qing fu story, i m okie rite nw......
anw, the event has been over for like 2 mths plus........ n over these two mths, my impression of my father has changed greatly... rmb...laz time u all used to say tt i haf 恋父情结, nw no more........no matter how gd he is in the past, he may juz be another very good actor.....we trust him fully.... no doubts tt he is a good father but he end up, cheat us over and over again....... hiding fr my mother and sell her property off, hide fr us tt he is taking care of the shop whereby the whole accounts have so much loopholes, refinance all our property and make us homeless nw (my mother is alr 50 n yet she dun haf her own shelter n my sis haf no choice but to put up wif all the shit tt is happening to her), make us in debt with so many ppl tt i cant even figure out the exact figure (though i haf an approx idea in my mind), not to mention those times when i saw the nature of human, my experience with all the loansharks, debtors, how a human being cn be so cruel at ur downfall..... thou there r sympathetic ppl out dere, but if u c how twisted is the human nature, believe me, u wun even wanna cum to the world in the first place........ to me, nw, my heart has calmed down..........but is juz tt i m stil torn apart by the fact tt he may be lying to us for a long period of time........fake injuries, a woman outside who threaten him, all these r juz our speculation....... ppl did mention to mi, forget abt tis kinfd of father n change ur surname to Kua.... but i cant.. i stil rmb the hug he gave mi, i stil rmbhow he praise mi when i first cook for him, i stil rmb how humorous he is , i stil rmb the times when both of us enjoy the aircon in my rm n watch tv tgt, i stil rmb how gentle he is when closing my bedrm door, afraid of waking mi up.....i STILL remeber.... i rmb how he doted on mi..he is the BEST father.....once i thought...nw, mayb yes, mayb no......somehow, my tears cant seem to stop when i tink abt him....the mentioning of him juz make mi feel sour........he is a gd actor.................. wad i nid most nw, is juz a call fr him, telling mi why............WHY r all these things happening to us??? i juz need a reason for mi to work hard n stop crying.......a reason....tts all....even if he dun wanna cum back at all, i oso dun care....... even until nw, is cny soon, not even a phone call or letter.... is he reali going to dump us, is he stil near us, is he living well, is he walking the right path, n most importantly, is he alive???? i hate to guess... when things get out of control.....i juz feel bad...............
sorry to spoil the cny mood, but seriously if at such at impt festival, he stil dun wanna contact mi, i suspect tt sumting is wrong.......

a daughter waiting for a reason